The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
they need to just BURY HIM!
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
