i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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