i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize
