i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
