check it out our google latitudes are spooning
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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