I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
