nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
I FOUND THE LEGS
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