I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
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