So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
