And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
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