my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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