I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize