Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
