nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
my vag is so smooth its legendary
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
is that a dick in a sweater?
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
