just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
