D3 body, D1 cock
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
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