just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
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