you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
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