I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
