we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
