just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Randomize
