He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
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