Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
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