OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
She swung at the pinata with crutches
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Enjoy the penises
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
