I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
I intend to get homeless drunk
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
