whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
