Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
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