D3 body, D1 cock
Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
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