What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Send help, water and tortillas.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Randomize
