Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Randomize
