nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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