i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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