Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Randomize
