how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
