What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
