Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
