remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Randomize
