i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
