I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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