soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
