She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
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