There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
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