I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize
