All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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