Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
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