I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Randomize
