i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
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