I can't watch pbs sober anymore
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize