Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Randomize
