This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
This gyro tastes like lonliness
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Randomize