would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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