I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Randomize
