barbara walters just said penis...
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
this is an emotional support booty call
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
