redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
