I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
