i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Randomize
