Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
