right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
